The Day After Christmas and This Book I’m Reading

The cover of the book I’m reading has a picture of someone cutting grass with a pair of scissors. It’s called Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Perfectionism, and it has the most amusing cover of any  clinical book I’ve read to date. The content is not particularly humorous, but it’s interesting.

Reading the section on the causes of perfectionism prompted my mind to go back to Monday, when I was having talking to my dad about cloned lifeforms, identity, family skeletons that paraded out of that closet years ago, and personality traits. And a slew of other things, but the personality discussion sticks out. My dad and I tend to be competitive and tend to make it a point to focus energy on things in which we are skilled at. We differ in that my dad used to be impulsive – things change with age – and I am not.

At all.

Avoiding risk isn’t entirely an anxiety thing with me – it’s lack of interest. I just don’t find impulsive behavior appealing. I can put off enjoyable things for extended periods of time. My idea of a good time after work is looking at pictures of cats on the Internet. I’m not sure if I can explain it any better than just saying meh.

Nature and nurture is a funny thing.

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Autism, Empathy, and Something About Accountants

I finally watched The Accountant. To summarize, it’s a thriller movie with a bunch of the usual thriller tropes, except the anti-hero is an attempt at portraying diversity but instead ends up an amalgamation of clichés about people on the spectrum. Pro Tip: If you’re making a film with an autistic character, consider spending more time consulting with autistic people than time with neurotypical people.

Anyway, the film got me thinking about empathy. Especially the way in which people who do not appear to have much empathy are filed in with abusive spouses, serial killers, and those who maim kittens. While abusive spouses, serial killers, and those who maim kittens are often low on empathy, it does not mean that all who are low on empathy are any of those things nor does it mean that abusing, killing, and maiming requires low empathy. Empathy is not the same thing as compassion or sympathy or pity or loving-kindness or being moral or whatever other nice-sounding quality you think is associated with empathy.

Empathy is, per Merriam-Webster, “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also :  the capacity for this”

Empathy can be broken down into cognitive (being able to take the perspective of real and fictional people), affective (being able to respond to someone else’s emotional state), and somatic (having a physical reaction). Deficits in these types of empathy are found in yes, autism, as well as anorexia, all personality disorders, psychotic disorders, OCD and a few of the related disorders – a significant number of people, the majority caring and welcome in society.

Deficits in empathy makes violence and cruelty easier, no doubt. What often happens, though, is that people with a lower ability to be empathic feel disconnected from others, lonely, and depressed. It is harder to communicate effectively with empathy is lower. People are punished for being being different, and those punished withdraw from others.